What started out as funny and ridiculous, ended up as just plain sad.  Did Kelly have a real nervous breakdown?  If so, this is no longer amusing.  Someone on that production staff needs to be responsible and get that girl some help.

Or is it a matter of wacky Kelly mixing alcohol with (prescribed?) medicine??? Still, not liking that either.

So now we have Pinot (wino) Ramona, Ka-razy Kelly, mean Jill, snobby/cliquey Countless, and hivey Alex.  With Bethenny going off to her own show, it’s a good thing the show has brought Sonja into the mix!

And it looks like Sonja is in the middle of this mess, thinking – crap, I’m not in Kansas anymore.  She did a good thing by getting the circling wolves at the villa to back away from Kelly.

Well, I have a feeling after Sonja assesses these crazies, she might beg the producers to bring in a few more ‘normal’ (albeit rich) NY housewives.

Yowzaa!!   Just when the residents are settling down, Jill decides to grace them with her company – we’ll have to stay tuned, but from the preview, it does not look like she will be welcomed.  Poor public opinion of Jill’s catty behavior seems to have given Jill a change of heart toward Bethenny.  Hmmm… will Bethenny forgive her?  should she??

My opinion is Bethenny should ignore Jill for now, and move on and have fun with her new show. But will Bethenny’s show overlap with the RHONY cast? Guest appearances??

Regardless, HOW FUN WAS IT, that Luann seemed thoroughly dismantled by the thought that Jill was now open to being a friend with Bethenny again!! That may have been the best part of this episode for me! M E O W W W !

OK, contemplate all that while you whip up a batch of Semi-HomeTested Passionpolitan cocktails (from Sandra Lee semi-homemade Cocktail Time book).  And see ya next week!

Today my hero is SPANDEX. And don’t get in the gutter with this. I am merely ecstatic that my jeans have a wee bit of lycra in them. Remember the jeans of yore??? They were the most unforgiving garments – if you gained 5lbs, they could turn you into a sobbing, screeching, hormonal creature in desperate need of an exorcism. And you could not fix this by shopping for a new pair, because you were absolutely NOT going to buy the next size up.

According to Wikipedia, Spandex, Lycra or elastane is a synthetic fibre known for its exceptional elasticity. It was invented in 1959 by chemist Joseph Shivers at DuPont’s Benger Laboratory in Waynesboro, Virginia.

And just to rub it in, Wikipedia goes on to say “The name ‘Spandex’ is an anagram of the word ‘expands’. Well, I’ve got one for you Wikipedia: ‘Fear Diet Food’ is an anagram of ‘Eat Fried Food’.

So there you have it. I have a love/hate relationship with food, and now apparently with Spandex too.

But anyway, here’s my

HUMP DAY KUDOS TO YOU SPANDEX!!!

and chemist Joseph Shivers!

Last night’s RHONJ focused on the runway of Fashion Week as the spawn of Cat Fighting Teresa and Danielle did their mama’s proud.

Teresa couldn’t have been prouder or happier for Gia. But seriously, could that shopping trip have been any more over the top? $1,900?? Oh well, Teresa just effused happiness for Gia, which is more than you can say for Danielle. Yes, Danielle was happy. Happy for Danielle.

Who didn’t feel bad for Christine as Danielle stood watch over her modeling lesson, glaring at her the whole time? And really, all Danielle can think about is how she will be traveling to places like Rome?? And how Danielle could have been a different person if she had the opportunities that Christine has? Pah-leeeze! Christine will have the same opportunities to make her own bad decisions – it’s Danielle’s turn to grow up and focus on her daughter – and quit focusing on what her daughter can do for her!

And Dina – take a cue from Caroline and show up to support your niece Gia!  What a disappointment your ‘no show’ was. Dina, I love your jersey girl attitude of past episodes – DON’T turn into a sage burning/sniffing shrinking violet!!!

Once again – the previews for next week look explosive – can’t wait! I’ll be there with a Semi-HomeTested cocktail in hand.  This week I tried Don’s Delight.

This green cocktail (from Sandra Lee semi-homemade Cocktail Time, pg. 80) is easy to make – however I must note that I used Jose Cuervo gold tequila – I just don’t like the way silver tequila makes me feel.  Also, I really think there is a HUGE difference in melon liquors, so I used Midori – the flavor is worth the price!

I have to say that this cocktail is on the sweet side, what with the pineapple juice and all- however that is just fine with me.  I think next time though I will skip the whipped creme garnish – even for a desert gal like me, it was a tad much.

Be sure to serve this VERY cold. I think I didn’t keep it shaking long enough, and I ended up adding ice to my glass.

So enjoy Don’s Delight —- ohhhhhh — I finally got why it’s named this – it has to do with the liquor brand Ms. Sandra Lee used. The whole time I was making this cocktail, I kept thinking “why Don? – the last person I knew with that name was not a nice person”. I really didn’t want to make this cocktail.  I feel much better now that I get it. Yikes.. shades of SNL, the early years!

I know… whatever.

Oh, after all my rambling, I did like this cocktail, so out of a LUSH IT, LUSH IT A LOT, or LEAVE IT, I give this a Semi-HomeTested rating of LUSH IT.

WOW… whoever said put the lime in the coconut was surely thinking of this Coconut Colada cocktail (Sandra Lee semi-homemade Cocktail Time book pg.73)! This mix of pineapple-coconut juice, vanilla vodka (not rum), half and half, and banana schnapps is well served by a hit of (I used Rose’s) lime juice.

I made one of these the other night and enjoyed it so much, I just had to make them for my good friends at dinner last night. Everyone loved these Coconut Coladas. But be very careful. They go down a little easily, and I found that I had to wait till today to tell you about it – or it would have taken me twice as long to post this.

Oh, and I have to say to the girl who waited on me at the liquor store – if you’re reading this – remember when I said “give me the cheap version of the banana schnapps because for sure I will never use it again”? Well, I totally take it back! I will be making these Coconut Coladas all summer long!

So, LUSH IT, LUSH IT A LOT, OR LEAVE IT? I give this a Semi-HomeTested rating of LUSH IT A LOT!!!

Tip 1: You can throw this in the freezer for a slushy version.

Tip 2: Use fat free half and half – remember we already have to deal with the cals from the schnapps

OK, we’ve got Bethenny, Sonja, Ramona, Kelly, and Alex out to sea. I’ve got to hand it to Ramona, she throws one helluva of a party!
Unfortunately, the bickering started from the get go and escalated in direct proportion to the alcohol served. But as grand as these ladies entrances are, their exits are equally pathetic – didn’t you just LOVE when Kelly got mad and flounced away from the lunch table, only to be bamboozled by a glass door – this Columbia educated woman could not figure out how to open an automated glass door!!! Maybe Bethenny is right that Kelly was probably confused when she said she went to Columbia and that Kelly must have meant the country!!!
I also love that they partied on the Hooters yacht (girls just want to have fun) moored next to them, but hate that Ramona was a slurring idiot. And then Kelly turned into a Coo-Coo Cruella. You can tell Kelly’s always had the monster in her head, but she really let it out in public!! Was she being so nasty to get more air time? I mean, it’s been announced that Bethenny is getting her own show, so maybe Kelly just wants to grab a juicy role for herself for next season (I read that she is the only NY housewife that has signed her contract for next season). I don’t think Alex is going to be strong enough to stand on her own when Bethenny is gone.
Now Sonja? Hmmm. Jury is still out. She seems to have a kind of 80’s mentality toward women, men, and well, let’s just call it ‘dating’.
And the Countess of Orange – I think of LuAnn this way because whatever tanner she is using makes her face look absolutely orange – (although she looked great on Andy Cohen’s ‘Watch What Happens’ show). And whoa – Does her new boyfriend creep you out a little?
All I can say is that it’s a good thing women tend to socialize in party settings and don’t in general go duck hunting! Although there was all that water…

Is this the battle of the children turned model?

We begin with Teresa being the ultimate stage mom for Gia (we love you anyway!). Gia gets selected to be in a runway show during fashion week.  Hmmm – we’ll have to wait to see what this means.  But you can see that Teresa is truly happy for her daughter and it’s what Gia really wants.

Meanwhile, Danielle’s daughter Christine gets a modeling gig with IMG.  Danielle does not even try to hide to fact that she is ecstatic over all the $$$ they’ll have and how they can buy a bigger house!!!     Hopefully Danielle will at least hire a decorator so her garish taste won’t ruin whatever she buys.  Not to be horrible, but I’ve seen 1 bedroom apartments that look waaay better than her tacky 20 room house!!!

Now, did Christine seem excited to you?  The only time she got excited was when Danielle was planning their ‘celebratory lunch’.  That is until, Danielle told her that Christine and her sister were not invited.  The party was to be for Danielle to celebrate and brag to her friends.  Boy, that took the air right out of Christine’s balloon!

But can Danielle even enjoy her celebratory lunch? NO. She had to embarrass one guest and make her swear she wasn’t a friend of Caroline’s and then she had 2 empty chairs that she had ‘reserved’ for Jacqueline and Dina. Who of course had told her before the lunch that they would not be attending. Does she think people will think ‘poor Danielle’. I don’t think so… more like ‘psycho Danielle’.

We’ll have to see what the season holds. I just hope a lot of that stuff is ‘staged’ and that Danielle’s daughters aren’t really at the mercy of mommy dearest!